Happy Howl-o-Ween Rant?

Hope that those of you who celebrate Halloween had a wonderful time.  Me, not so much.

Oh, Newt was fine!  His costume was that of a healthy, happy, slightly poochy-bellied, adorable cat with mesmerizing and exotic copper-coloured eyes.

Me? thanks to my cycle coming for the second time in less than a week, obviously I was costumed as an angry, menopausal woman. Spent the day whining and moaning under my heating pad, bemoaning my ill-fated womanhood, and cussing about hormones and the apparent diminishing lack thereof. Raiding the cupboards for scraps of chocolate and potato chips, and seriously considered ripping the stuffing out of one of Newt’s toys so I could have some catnip tea.

Don’t get me started on my epic Halloween rants!  Years of stories, I gots ’em – similar to several I’ve heard from others.  The “Hey” people, the fully-grown and bearded men, the non-costumed, pillowcase people, the “I don’t like that kind of candy,” and “I WANT more candy” brats, the “after 10PM beating down the door with ALL the lights in the house OFF” idiots, and on and on.  Add to that, a neurotic, hyper-vigilant watchdog who barks.  And barks.  And BARKS – non-stop.  

Almost all of our neighbors have also stopped participating, due to the ongoing trick or treater frustrations we’ve had in our neighborhood over the years.  I think there were only two lights on in the whole street last night. 

Strangest part of the evening was the 5PM doorbell ring.  Too early for trick or treat, I thought.  I ignored it.  Then, pounding on the door.  WTF?!?  I forgot my self-imposed rule to NOT answer the doorbell for any reason, stomped down the stairs, tripped over the barking dog, angrily threw open the door, and yelled “WHAT?!?!”

It was as if Obi Wan Kenobi had waved his hands, saying “These are not the trick or treaters you were looking for.”

Not the trick or treating toddlers one might expect, but … wandering evangelists?!?  At the very start of the witching hour?

Conservatively dressed and polite young women. Both were wearing some sort of Jesus church name tags, but, I could swear that one of them was wearing a small *tiara*.  

I blinked.  

I blinked again.

These were not the normal prosthelytizing visitors we usually get. Oh, yes, the earnest, “Jesus loves you” opening salvo, followed quickly by something about being saved (sorry, all I could think of at that moment was that I wished I had saved more chocolate in my emergency stash), and when I mumbled a “no thanks, I’m busy,” more earnest insistence that Jesus REALLY loves me.

“Uhm, yeah, right … sorry, I’m busy.”  (Busy being an angry menopausal woman!)

Didn’t have the heart (or presence of mind) to blurt out the first words that came to my lips… “Hey, great costumes!”  Still am not sure if they really WERE evangelists, or very clever Trick or Treaters. But it sure was the most unusual Trick or Treat thing to ever happen at our house.

Usually I make a costume for me and the Dog and we escape the worst of it while trick or treating at the pet places.  Alas, everything was closed last night so we huddled under darkness.  Only one small group of TrTers came by – nobody knocked; nobody barked; and, I sat quietly under the heating pad and ate an entire tub of chocolate frosting.

Ahhhhhh bliss.  

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